#bobchannel
<Garr> You are sitting in #bobchannel, the coolest channel on FurNet. No conversation is going on.
<Garr> >_
* Darius-Kei (~midnight@fur-7BD7D2AF.bflony.east.verizon.net) Quit (Ping timeout)
<Ez> let's get it started then
* Ez humps Garr
* GregorSamsa (~GregorSam@fur-CEE280AF.sub-97-203-203.myvzw.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Garr> I don't understand 'let's get it started then'.
<Garr> >_
* GregorSamsa (~GregorSam@fur-CEE280AF.sub-97-203-203.myvzw.com) has joined #bobchannel
<Ez> your left eye is missing
<Garr> I don't understand ' your left eye is missing'.
<Ez> I demand you remedy the situation
<Garr> Command?
<Garr> >_
<Ez> I
<Garr> You are currently carrying: Nothing.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> look around
<Garr> This is #bobchannel, the coolest channel on FurNet. Oddly enough, Bob isn't present. You wonder where he's gone off to.
<Garr> >_
* BlancheSPR (~blanchesp@bas3-montreal02-1096681737.dsl.bell.ca) Quit (Quit: )
<Ez> >examine walls
<Garr> The walls are white. You can't tell if they were painted that way or if the nature of FurNet caused them to be.. ..You'd rather not finish that thought.
<Garr> >_
* GregorSamsa (~GregorSam@fur-CEE280AF.sub-97-203-203.myvzw.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
* GregorSamsa (~GregorSam@86.sub-97-203-203.myvzw.com) has joined #bobchannel
<BlueMage> >say ohgodwhatthefuck
<Garr> Ohgodwhatthefuck
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> go north
<Ez> >punch bluemage
<Garr> You punch BlueMage in the face. He blocks it readily and responds with a rocket punch that you swat off to the side. As always.
<Garr> You go north. Ow! There's a wall there!
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> go south
<Ez> >go east
<Jouva> haha
<Garr> You go east. Ow! There's a wall there!
<GregorSamsa> go west
<Garr> You go south. Ow! There's a wall there!
<Garr> You go west. Ow! There's a wall there!
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> ppppft
<Sapphire> gnaw through wall with rat teeth
<GregorSamsa> go northwest
<Garr> You don't possess rat teeth. You're a dragon, remember?
<Garr> You go northwest. Ow! There's a wall there!
<Jouva> climb ladder
<Ez> >breathe fire
<Sapphire> gnaw through wall with dragon teeth
<Umo`> http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/BLEASCHMNN/
<Garr> You breathe fire! It's green and searing hot, but it doesn't accomplish anything. Way to show off, asshole.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> BITCH WHERE'S MY LADDER CLIMBIN?
<BlueMage> i got this guys
<BlueMage> >cast Magic MISSILE
<Ez> hahah
<Ez> at the dark
<Garr> You try to cast the spell Magic MISSILE!... ...They never taught you that one back at the Academy, now that you think about it. There's no darkness to cast it at anyway, so you decide against it.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> climb ladder
<Garr> There is no ladder.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> fiine
<BlueMage> >bend spoon
<Ez> >examine room
<Garr> There is no spoon.
<Jouva> YESSSS
<Garr> This is #bobchannel, the coolest channel on FurNet. Oddly enough, Bob isn't present. You wonder where he's gone off to. There is a ladder in one corner. The walls are white.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >go to ladder
<Jouva> <Garr> There is no ladder.
<Jouva> <Garr> This is #bobchannel, the coolest channel on FurNet. Oddly enough, Bob isn't present. You wonder where he's gone off to. There is a ladder in one corner. The walls are white.
<Garr> There is no ladder. There never was a ladder. You're sure of this.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> damn
<Garr> "Damn them! Damn them all to hell!" You shout at the heavens.
<Garr> >_
* Darius-Kei (~midnight@pool-72-75-199-80.bflony.east.verizon.net) has joined #bobchannel
<Ez> >suck cock
<Garr> That would be against channel rules.
<Garr> >_
<BlueMage> Lols.
<Ez> hahah
<Ez> okay then
<Jouva> climb hidden ladder
<Ez> >punch darius
* GregorSamsa (~GregorSam@86.sub-97-203-203.myvzw.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Garr> You could punch him, but he's too easy.
<Darius-Kei> Ow.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >examine floor
* Shiningtail (~midnight@fur-F7C9B08C.bflony.east.verizon.net) Quit (Ping timeout)
<Garr> The floor is covered in a very soft carpet, kept clean by a badger-shaped Roomba that shows up from time to time. You consider punting it next time. There is a ladder bolted to the floor in one corner.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> examine ladder
<Garr> What ladder? There is no ladder. You are absolutely sure there never was a ladder.
<Jouva> use goggles
<Garr> You don't have that.
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> >achieve enlightenment
<Garr> You're FAR too self-conscious for that.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> inventory
<Garr> You are carrying: Nothing.
<Ez> >pick up roomba
<Garr> You currently have equipped: Rectangular spectacles. Jacket. Blue beads. Cargo pants. Boots.
<Garr> The roomba isn't here right now!
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> use nothing on BlueMage
* Shiningtail (~midnight@pool-71-126-2-137.bflony.east.verizon.net) has joined #bobchannel
<Ez> >wait
<Sapphire> >eat carpet
<Garr> You hit BlueMage over the head with the Nothing. By imagining it. Yes.
<Garr> You sit around and pick your nose for a few seconds.
<BlueMage> >ride invisible bike
<Jouva> examine finger
<Garr> You try to eat the carpet, but you're not much of a carpet muncher, and stop.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >wait until roomba shows up
<Garr> You're not gonna wait that long!
* Patashu (~Patashu@c122-106-162-185.carlnfd1.nsw.optusnet.com.au) has joined #bobchannel
<Garr> You look at your finger. It is covered in jade green scales with a white claw. You like your finger.
<Sapphire> >be awesome
<BlueMage> Hey patashu
<Ez> >call roomba
<Garr> You're always doing that.
<Garr> You call for the roomba! Nothing happens.
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> >use blue beads
* Darius-Kei (~midnight@pool-72-75-199-80.bflony.east.verizon.net) Quit (Ping timeout)
<Jouva> examine bolts on floor
<Garr> You idly roll one of the beads between your fingers, looking bored.
<Garr> >_
<Patashu> yo
<Ez> >throw beads on floor to attract roomba
<Sapphire> >call for friends
<Garr> You would have to unequip that to do that!
<Ez> >unequip beads
<Garr> You call For Friends! Nothing happens.
<Garr> You don't wanna do that! Then you wouldn't look nearly as awesome.
<Sapphire> ha, you have no friends
<Garr> >_
<Ez> ah fuck
<Jouva> >_ Buy roomba from woot.com
<Ez> >punch jouva
<Garr> You go to buy a Roomba from woot.com
<Garr> Sadly, they aren't selling any right now!
<Garr> You go to punch Jouva, but Darius jumps in the way and tries to hump your leg. You shake him off with promises of 'later'.
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> >take off pants
<Shiningtail> ...
<Shiningtail> ;-;
<Shiningtail> But I want nooooooow.
<Garr> You take off your pants, revealing your embarassing chocobo-print boxers.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >throw pants at jouva
<Garr> You like these pants!
<Garr> >_
<Ez> damnit, this game won't let you do anything
<Sapphire> >use pants on wall
<Garr> You rub your pants against the wall.
<Garr> ....Ewwww.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >lick wall
* Shiningtail snickers.
<Garr> There is no way in hell you're going to do that! Just the thought makes you shiver.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >shit
<Sapphire> >breathe on wall_
<Garr> You step into the channel bathroom and do your business.
<Garr> You breathe on the wall. Nothing happens.
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> >breathe fire on wall_
* Saul|Foodies is now known as SaulTaur
<Ez> >examine bathroom
<Garr> You breathe fire on the wall! A section burns away, revealing a ladder.
<Garr> What bathroom?
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> >get ladder_
<Garr> You take the ladder.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >eat ladder
<Sapphire> >use ladder on wall
<Garr> You could eat the ladder, but it could be important!
<Garr> You hit the wall with the ladder. That's fun.
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> >climb ladder_
<Ez> >look for openings
<Garr> You can't climb the ladder while you're holding it!
<Garr> There are no 'for openings' here.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> set ladder on wall
<Ez> >examine ceiling
<Garr> There are no bolts on the wall!
<Sapphire> >set ladder on bolts_
<Garr> The cieling is very plain. Except for the extravagant chandelier hanging from the center. Ironic.
<Garr> You set the ladder into the floor.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >use ladder on chandelier
<Garr> You don't have that!
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >pick up ladder
<Sapphire> >climb ladder
<Ez> >use ladder on chandelier
<Garr> You pick up the ladder.
<Garr> You can't climb the ladder while you're holding it!
* Shiningtail (~midnight@pool-71-126-2-137.bflony.east.verizon.net) Quit (Ping timeout)
<Garr> You climb up to the chandelier, or try. You fall off the unsecured ladder. [1 DAM]
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >examine myself
<Sapphire> >set ladder on bolts_
<Sapphire> >climb ladder_
<Garr> You are a ten foot tall jade dragon! You're feeling fine. Your scales are finely polished. You look healthy. You're a little overweight. You have some muscle mass. You are currently wearing: A jacket, blue beads, rectangular spectacles, chocobo-print boxers, silver tail-ring.
<Garr> You set the ladder into the floor.
<Ez> >I
<Garr> You try to climb down the ladder, but the floor is blocked!
<Garr> You are carrying: Cargo pants.
<Ez> >use pants on ladder
<Garr> You currently have equipped: Rectangular spectacles, chocobo-print boxers, silver tail-ring, blue beads.
<Garr> You hang your pants on the ladder. This is stupid.
<Garr> You get your pants back.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> use door
<Garr> You open the trapdoor.
<Ez> >put on pants
<Garr> You put your pants on. They're snug around the middle, might want to get a new belt.
<Jouva> set ladder into trap door
<Garr> You don't have that!
<Jouva> get ladder
<Garr> You get the ladder.
<Jouva> set ladder into trap door
<Garr> You set the ladder into the floor.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> climb ladder
<Garr> You climb down the ladder...
<Ez> >look around
<Garr> You are in #lobby. This place makes you feel dirty and disgusted. It's the Lobby of FurNet. You see exits to the North, East, West, South, and Up.
<Jouva> bahahaha lobby
<Garr> You see a list on the wall.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> north
<Patashu> enter #malefurs
<Ez> >examine list
<Sapphire> >help
<Umo`> http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Electro+Gypsy/
<Garr> This is the channel list. You don't even wanna know what half these channels are for.
<Garr> But then you see the topics and wish you hadn't.
<Garr> >_
<Garr> BlackDrgn says something ignorant and terrible. You facepalm.
<Garr> >_
<Aribadger> >go Bobchannel
<Ez> >punch blakdrgn
<Jouva> ha!!!
<Garr> You head back into #bobchannel, feeling much relieved to be out of that terrible place.
<Garr> You don't see blakdrgn here!
<Garr> >_
<Aribadger> >Pet Aribadger
<Aribadger> :3
<Ez> >punch Aribadger
<magnumb> >kick Aribadger's ass
<Garr> You take a swing at Aribadger! Chiptune music starts playing. STRIFE!
* Aribadger goes all Honeybadger on his attackers >: EE
<Garr> You: [|||||||||||||-] Ari: [||||]
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >take off pants
<Ez> >use pants on Aribadger
<Garr> You take off your pants, showing Ari your boxers! He giggles, and thinks they're cute. [1 DAM]
<Garr> You: [||||||||||||--] Ari: [||||]
<Garr> >_
<Aribadger> Nyoro~n :3c
<Ez> >breathe fire at Aribadger
<Garr> You breathe fire at Ari! That's gotta hurt. [4 DAM]
<Garr> You: [||||||||||||--] Ari: [----]
<Ez> >examine corpse
<Garr> You win the STRIFE! You feel somehow unfufilled.
<Garr> There is no corpse here.
* Aribadger is now known as Ari|Dead
<Ez> >get ashes
<Patashu> haha
* Ari|Dead is now known as Ari|Zombie
<Garr> There are no ashes here.
<Jouva> examine Aribadger
<Garr> He looks dizzy. He is covered in soot.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >take off boxers
<Ez> put on pants
* Ari|Zombie is now known as Aribadger
<Garr> That would go against channel rules!
<Ez> >throw boxers at Aribadger
<Garr> You put your pants back on.
<Ez> damnit
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> (so is this more like nethack or zork?)
<Ez> >breathe fire at Jouva
<Aribadger> #Bobchannel, the softcore MUD
<Garr> You breathe fire at Jouva! Darius stops you by jumping in the way.
<Jouva> haha
<Ez> >hump Darius
<Garr> Darius starts humping your leg! You shoo him away with promises of 'later'.
<Garr> That would go against channel rules!
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> Hey now no attacking me :(
<Ez> >breathe fire at Darius
<Garr> You breathe green flames at Darius! He's a dragon, you doofus, so it just makes him mew at you. This enrages you. DRAGONS DON'T MEW.
<Garr> You gain 1 VIM.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >stats
<Sapphire> >CANDY CORN VAMPIRE
<Jouva> map
<Garr> VERACITY: 11 MAGICKA: 10 VITRIOL: 10 VIM: 10 CHARISMATISM: 10 DEXTROUSITY: 10
<Garr> You see no map here.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >check awesomeness leveles
<Ez> *levels
<Garr> Your awesomeness levels are...
<Garr> Off the charts. B) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
<Garr> Arcoon punches you in the side of the head. You stop being lame.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >stick tongue out at Arcoon|Away
<Garr> You stick your tongue out at Arcoon! He can't reply, he's Away. This amuses you to no end.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >poke Arcoon
<Garr> All this sitting around has you feeling restless. [+1 DAM]
<Garr> You poke Arcoon. Poke. Poke.
<Garr> >_
<BlueMage> >negate damage to Boundless.
<Garr> You can't do that, your friendship with Dannik could be compromised!
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >check objectives
<Garr> Objectives? Please, you barely have motives.
<Garr> >_
<Garr> (BRB quick)
<Umo`> http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Australia/
* Arcoon|Away is now known as Arcoon
<SaulTaur> Issa coon :0
<Arcoon> Indeed.
<BlueMage> ...
<Garr> UN-Pause
<BlueMage> .
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >climb ladder to #lobby
<Ez> >go north
<Ez> >take off pants
<Ez> >scream at people
<Garr> You reluctantly head into #lobby.
<Ez> >throw stuff
<Garr> You head north.
<Garr> You don't wanna do that in public!
<Garr> You don't wanna make an ass of yourself!
<Garr> You have nothing to throw.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >look around
<Garr> You are currently in #foxie. You wonder what the fuck you're doing here.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >punch someone
<lellow_afk> are there
<lellow_afk> foxes
<lellow_afk> in foxie
* lellow_afk is now known as lellow
<Garr> You take a swing at someone! Instantly you find yourself in #lobby. The door to the North disappears.
<Garr> >_
<lellow> garr you need one more >
<Ez> >go south
<Garr> You head south.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >look around
<lellow> >_>
<Patashu> >_<
<Sapphire> >drink
<Garr> You are currently in #furaffinity. There are peope of all kinda here, but most of them are terrible.
<Garr> You have nothing to drink!
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >_ as in "waiting for command"
<Patashu> bitch at dragoneer
<Sapphire> >drink beer
<Garr> Dragoneer isn't here, and besides, you like him! You're the last person that'd bitch at him.
<Garr> There is no beer here.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >ask enoki for beer
<Patashu> oh sorry I forgot
<Garr> Enoki isn't here!
<Garr> >_
<Ez> yes she is
<Garr> No she isn't stop arguing with the parser. Are you insane?
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >yes I am
<Garr> Good for you.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >ask someone for a beer
<Garr> You ask around for a beer. Instead ScottGD goes on about his computer problems. This annoys you.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >call Scorch a faggot
<Garr> You call ScorchGD a faggot! This arouses Pinkuh's anger. Uh oh.
<Garr> STRIFE!
<BlueMage> >>SCREEN FADEOUT<<
<magnumb> >kick pinkjuh in the cunt
<Ez> >breathe fire at Pinkuh
<magnumb> pinkjuihu
<magnumb> chsidj
<Garr> You [||||||||||||||-] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]
<BlueMage> >play Those Who Fight Further<<
<Garr> You kick Pinkuh in the cunt! She winces. [1 DAM]
<magnumb> YEAH
<Patashu> haha
<Patashu> circlestrafe
<magnumb> >tell pinkuh she is an overly terrible person
<Garr> Pinkuh wields DBZ Porn! You shield your eyes. [4 DAM]
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]
<Patashu> you forgot to take off one
<magnumb> wtf
<magnumb> yeah
<magnumb> i kicked her in the cunt
<Ez> her cunt is full of sand
<Garr> (Shut up)
<Ez> that's like natural armor
<magnumb> >tell pinkuh she is an overly terrible person
<Ez> >make fun of Pinkuh's weight
<Garr> You call out Pinkuh's every flaw, using your VITRIOL! She laughs it off, and uses her power as Op to /kick you!
<magnumb> >tell her to stop drawing forever please
<Garr> You [|||||||--------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]
<Garr> [3 DAM]
<Garr> You ask Pinkuh to stop drawing! She laughs in your face.
<Garr> You [|||||||--------] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||-]
<Jouva> no guys don't fight pinkuh you'll die! you gotta wait!
<magnumb> >tell pinkuh that would be in everyone's best interest that she stop drawing characters with downs
<Jouva> you're too weak
<Arcoon> She's actually gaining health this entire time because it's making her internal egopenis swell with pride.
<Garr> You make fun of Pinkuh's drawings! Her facade holds, but inside her brittle heart is breaking. [4 DAM]
<Garr> You [|||||||--------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||----]
<magnumb> :}
<Patashu> lol
<Ez> >make fun of Master Chief
<magnumb> >tell pinkuh that she will never work at bungie
<magnumb> (get a real job that is)
<Arcoon> She loves loves loves fighting with people, and even more so being able to shut them up with her b& powers.
<Garr> You make terrible jokes about Master Chief being MegaMan's drunken lovechield with Samus! Pinkuh actually laughs! [+3 DAM]
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||----]
<Garr> >_
<magnumb> >tell pinkuh that she will never work at bungie
<Garr> You tell Pinkuh she will never work at Bungie! Pinkuh reminds you that you're living on a friend's couch. [5 DAM]
<magnumb> NO I'M NOT
<Garr> You [|||||----------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||----]
<Patashu> :<
<Sapphire> >organize massive furry uprising against Pinkuh of all the people she's pissed off, and their friends
<magnumb> >organize a lynching
<magnumb> haha
<magnumb> fuck
<Jouva> same thing
<magnumb> great minds think alike
<Garr> You visualize doing this, but you would never be able to in reality. Your dreams give you strength! [+5 DAM]
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||----]
<Garr> >_
<Aribadger> >Troll Pinkuh subtly
<Sapphire> >get someone more popular than you do to this
<magnumb> >become internet famous and make a journal organzing a lynching
<magnumb> haha fuck
<magnumb> sapphire
<magnumb> seriously
<Garr> You subtly troll Pinkuh. She's not smart enough to even notice you're doing anything.
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||---]
<Sapphire> >absorb magnumb's brain
<magnumb> >already done
<Garr> You notice that Pinkuh is recovering DAM!
<Jouva> FUCK SHE'S HEALING
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >use valid intelligent arguments on Pinkuh
* Aribadger is now known as Aribadger|TF2
<Garr> You use your INTELLIECTUALITUDE to argue with Pinkuh! She counters with "lol ur dumb".
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--]
<Garr> >_
<Aribadger|TF2> >Use proxies and alts to troll Pinkuh into a perpetual rage
<Aribadger|TF2> >:3
<Sapphire> >cast Knights of the Round
<Garr> You hate Final Fantasy 7.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> >hack pinkuh's FA account and create incriminating blackmail
<Sapphire> >cast a much cooler spell then
<Garr> You cast the coolest spell you know!.. ..Only it doesn't do much, it just looks cool.
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||-]
<Jouva> >hack pinkuh's FA account and create incriminating blackmail
<BlueMage> >post http://trg.fireball20xl.com/random/100_fan_slap_by_p3ncilpusher.jpg and tell her she will never ever get a chance to do this, ever.
<Ez> >DDOS Furnet
<Garr> You're not that good.
<Aribadger|TF2> >Invite the decent members to Bobchannel
<Garr> You show off the artwork to Pinkuh, and remind her that she'll never amount to that! She remarks that neither will you.
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||-]
<BlueMage> >avow that you will, and produce artwork to the contrary. FIGHT. LIVE. WIN.
<Sapphire> >a strange game. the only winning move is not to play.
<steffo> i beg to differ
<Garr> You're not that corny.
<Garr> You don't have nukes!
<Garr> >_
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||-]
<Sapphire> >use pants on Pinkuh
<Ez> >breathe fire at pinkuh
<Garr> Remember that you can always use the HELP command!
<Garr> You breathe green flames at Pinkuh! That's gotta hurt. [4 DAM]
<Garr> You [||||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||-----]
<Ez> >fart at pinkuh
<Garr> BlakDrgn finds this hilarious! You are disturbed. [1 DAM]
<Garr> You [|||||||||------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||----]
<steffo> >steal pinkuh's ham sandwich
<Arcoon> The best course of action is to remove the Halo franchise from existence
<Garr> You're no thief!
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >help
<Jouva> >use pants on pinkuh
<Arcoon> This will easily halve her life span
<Garr> HELP FILE:
<Sapphire> >be nice to Pinkuh and insist yourself as her friend until you one day out of nowhere you blow up at her and yell at her on IM, cutting her to the very core of her being
<BlueMage> >assert that you are the mightiest swordsman in all Ivalice, GILGAMESH, and Slice Thrice.
<Garr> In a STRIFE, you have the following commands >AGGRIEVE, >AGGRESS(Passive/Active), >ABJURE, and >ACTION.
* Arcoon facepalmsm
<Garr> ACTIONs are your most powerful attack, but they may not work!
<Patashu> what about ASSERT
<Aribadger|TF2> >post a tinyurl that links people to www.zombo.com
<Garr> The first person to run out of DAM to take is knocked out cold, except for you.
<Garr> You will die.
* Arcoon facepalms so hard it echoes
<Garr> There are additional commands available aside from these. Perhaps you can use them.
<Garr> >_
<lellow> man garr stop doing that I will e-punch you I swear
<Aribadger|TF2> >defends, anticipating Arcoons special attack "Critical Facepalm" on the third turn
<Ez> >fuck the whole thing and go have some ice cream
<Aribadger|TF2> >makes a horrible meme reference, whilst Arcoon is near Pinkuh
<Aribadger|TF2> :P
<Arcoon> You're making lellow's internal highlight go crazy in his brain
<Garr> You defend yourself! Pinkuh is standing there, recovering DAM.
<Garr> You [|||||||||------] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||---]
<Garr> >_
<Aribadger|TF2> >make a horrible meme reference, whilst Arcoon is near Pinkuh
<Sapphire> >use prayer
<Garr> You reference a horrible meme, and end up shaming yourself. Pinkuh found it hilarious! [1 DAM]
<Garr> You [||||||||-------] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||---]
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> >use pants on pinkuh
<Ez> >examine Pinkuh
<Aribadger|TF2> >Use soap on pinkuh
<Sapphire> >use Samuel L. Jackson on Pinkuh
<Garr> You wave your pants at Pinkuh! Frightened by your surprisingly normal clothing, Pinkuh does nothing!
<BlueMage> MOTHERFUCKA
<Garr> You don't wanna examine Pinkuh. Ugh.
<Garr> >_
<lellow> man what the FUCK is going on
<Ez> >punch ScorchGD
<Jouva> lellow: Just enjoy it man
<Garr> You punch ScorchGD! This enrages Pinkuh! [10 DAM]
<Sapphire> >become Samuel L. Jackson
<lellow> I can't if I don't know what's going on
<Garr> You [||||||||-------] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||-------------]
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >say Dragoneer is a better mod
<lellow> seriously this is totally alien to my poor sense
<lellow> senses
<lellow> whatever
<Sapphire> you never played a text adventure, lellow?
<lellow> never
<Jouva> well then you suck
<Garr> You tell Pinkuh that Dragoneer is a much better mod than her! Everyone else laughs derisively at this comment, but Pinkuh takes it to heart! [20 DAM]
<lellow> I'd rather just read a book or play a more interesting video game
<Garr> [5 DAM]
<Jouva> 20 DAM 5 DAM?
<Garr> You [|||------------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >watch Pinkuh suffer to heal yourself
<Garr> You cackle at Pinkuh's suffering! This makes you feel alive again. [+5 DAM]
<Garr> You [||||||||-------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
<Aribadger|TF2> >Dsfargeg
* lellow (~Orange@fur-6AC674AD.dc.dc.cox.net) has left #bobchannel (you guys are silly lol)
* Ticky|zzz is now known as Ticky
<Garr> You defend yourself! Pinkuh can't stop crying behind her keyboard!
<Jouva> >xyzzy
<Garr> You [||||||||-------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<Garr> You think that'd work, but it doesn't. You drove lellow out of the channel temporarily! [7 DAM]
<Garr> You [|--------------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<Jouva> Ow :(
<Garr> >_
<BlueMage> >L-R-L-R-U-D-U-D B-A-START.
<Sapphire> >look at porno to regain health
<Jouva> (start wasn't part of the code!)
<Ez> >troll Pinkuh on FA using a fake account to heal yourself
<Garr> You enter the Konami Code! Nothing happens.
<Aribadger|TF2> >Summon Wray
<Garr> >>_
<Garr> Wray isn't here!
<Jouva> (Wait that wasn't the konami code!)
<Garr> You [|--------------] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
<Garr> (Why do you think it didn't work?)
<Jouva> >Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A
<BlueMage> >summon Boundless Barrage
<Garr> You enter the Real Konami Code! All your DAM is restored! All your MAGICKA is restored!
<Garr> You [||||||||||||||] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<BlueMage> damn it
<Garr> >_
<Garr> You suddenly remember that you don't really use up stats to cast spells. Your MAGICKALITY is unchanged.
<Sapphire> >use awesomeness on Pinkuh
<Ez> >piss Pinkuh off by saying "nigger"
<Garr> You flaunt your awesomeness! Pinkuh reminds you of when she suspended you.
<Garr> You say "Nigger". This throws Pinkuh into a rage! Uh oh.
<Garr> You [||||||||||||||] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> >Summon Dragoneer_
<Ez> >use Pinkuh's rage to your advantage
<Aribadger|TF2> >Use knowledge of room to begin conversation that Pinkuh doesnt like
<Garr> You try to summon Dragoneer, but you're not a Summoner!
<Garr> You don't know how to use that.
<Garr> Everyone is focused on the STRIFE! You can't duck out now!
<Garr> >_
<Garr> Pinkuh brandishes her banhammer angrily! She misspells your hostname. [5 DAM]
<Ez> >ask Pinkuh about her recently deceased pet
<Garr> You [|||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<Sapphire> >point out Pinkuh's dead webcomic
<Garr> You bring up Pinkuh's recently deceased pet! She sniffles. [-5 VERACITY]
<Garr> You bring up Pinkuh's recently deceased comic! She sniffles. [-5 VERACITY]
<Garr> You [|||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
* Aribadger|TF2 is now known as Aribadger
<Sapphire> >go to Pinkuh's ED page to gain knowledge
<Garr> You already know everything from that ED page! You love ED.
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >link a photo of a gross fat person and ask Pinkuh if that's her on it
<Sapphire> http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Pinkuh_newhair.jpg
<Garr> You AGGRESS Pinkuh Actively, using IMAGE INSULT! [10 DAM]
<Garr> You [|||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||------------------------------------------]
<Umo`> AUGHUGHGUGH
<Garr> Pinkuh brandishes her banhammer angrily! But you sidestep.
<Garr> >_
<Aribadger> >Invite friends to witness your smuggery in the channel
<Umo`> >Invite a LOT of them
<Garr> You invite Kirune to watch you make an ass of yourself! [+5 VERACITY]
<Garr> You [|||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||------------------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >ask Pinkuh about her age
<Garr> You ask Pinkuh how old she is! Pinkuh is enraged! [+5 VERACITY]
<Garr> You [|||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||------------------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >ask Pinkuh why does she spend so much time on IRC
<Garr> She asks the same of you!
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >tell her you get paid for it
<Garr> You flaunt your ChaCha job in Pinkuh's face! Pinkuh doesn't believe it! [15 DAM]
<Garr> You [|||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||--------------------------------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> ouch
* Darius-Kei (~midnight@fur-357138FE.bflony.east.verizon.net) has joined #bobchannel
<Sapphire> >use plot device on Pinkuh
<Garr> You don't have that item!
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> punch Aros
* Darius-Kei still looks up and whines. XD
<Garr> You don't even know who that is, and you have enough on your plate right now!
* Aribadger pets Darius : 3
<Sapphire> >link Pinkuh to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPiK_071rmg&feature=related
<Ez> >link Pinkuh to an FA page that violates the TOS and AUP to distract her
<Jouva> (Unless they broke up that's her husband!)
<Garr> You link Pinkuh to her husband being embarassing! She laughs at it.
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> (NO!)
* Darius-Kei awwws up at Ari. "Please tell me this isn't scripted. XD"
<Jouva> (Aros is her husband)
<Arcoon> God Garr you are such a bad parser
<Garr> You link Pinkuh to BEES OH GOD BEES. YOU CLICKED ON THAT. [-1 VERACITY]
<Garr> You [|||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||--------------------------------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
* Darius-Kei coils around Arcoon. "Remind me to bap him next time I see him in person."
* SaulTaur is now known as SaulMou
<Jouva> Ez do your post again
<Sapphire> >commission unflattering artwork of Pinkuh's character
<Garr> You don't wanna spend money on that bitch!
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >link Pinkuh to an FA page that violates the TOS and AUP to distract her
<Sapphire> >request unflattering artwork from an artist friend who's doing requests
<Garr> You link Pinkuh to a troll page you just set up! Pinkuh is distracted! [VITRIOL set to 0]
<Garr> You [|||||||||-----] Pinkuh: [||||||||||||||--------------------------------------------------------]
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >ask pinkuh how the sand in her vagina is doing
<Garr> You make a joke about Pinkuh's sandy vagina behind her back! Everyone laughs dirisively!
<Garr> Pinkuh returns to the derisive laughter! She is crushed! [100 DAM]
<Garr> You WON!
<Ez> WOOHOO
<Jouva> yaaaaaaaay!
<Garr> For your efforts, you are banned from #furaffinity.
<Sapphire> Ez wins
<Garr> You are in #lobby.
<Ez> YAY
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> hahahaha
<Ez> climb ladder
<Garr> You climb back into #bobchannel. You feel wholesome again. [ALL DAM RECOVERED]
<Ez> >close trapdoor
<Garr> You can't close it with the ladder there!
<Ez> >go AFK to rest
<Garr> >_
<Sapphire> >end game
<Garr> You can't rest with the door open! Idiots might wander in!
<Garr> >_
<Jouva> take ladder
<Garr> You get the ladder.
<Jouva> set ladder against wall
<Garr> >_
<Ez> >close trap door
<Ez> >nap
<Garr> What ladder? You're sure there never was a ladder.
<Garr> You close the trap door.
<Ez> >quit
<Garr> You don't feel like a nap! Nope, you only sleep in the wee hours of the morning.
<Garr> You quit to consider your text adventure joke. Maybe you should spring it now...
<Garr> GAME OVER
<Garr> You scored: 100/35072409574367 points.
<Jouva> ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
<Garr> Your rating: Fucking Douchebag
* Darius-Kei swats Garr.
<Garr> Ow.
